abandoned

tsk tsk

got a sprain two days before our 90s prod. WTF.

my mini poster, we're flashback idols eh. its on a white paper but you don't see it.

just hafta get this out

"One final word about preventing and removing emotional hurts. To live creatively, we must be willing to be a little vulnerable. We must be willing to hurt a little, if necessary, in creative living. A lot of people need a thicker and tougher emotional skin than they have. But they need only a tough emotional hide or epidermis - not a shell. To trust, to love, to open ourselves to emotional communication with other people is to run the risk of being hurt. If we are hurt once, we can do one of two things. We can build a thick protective shell, or scar tissue, to prevent being hurt again, live like an oyster, and not be hurt. Or we can "turn the other cheek," remain vulnerable and go on living creatively.

An oyster is never "hurt." He has a thick shell which protects him from everything. He is isolated. An oyster is secure, but not creative. He cannot "go after" what he wants - he must wait for it to come to him. An oyster knows none of the "hurts" of emotional communication with his environment - but neither can an oyster know the joys." -Dr. Maxwell Maltz, Psycho-Cybernetics

FYI i didn't read that book. i wouldn't read a book with that title just for fun.

to be an oyster or not to be an oyster, that is the question.

and so these are the things i hafta let out.

like yeah, you say you care a lot about me, that you are concerned and all that crap but yeah you can't even take time off to hang out. you're THAT busy i know. yeah right. and whoo, here i am, who'll go to school just to watch something with you or just to hang out. i suck right? and now, you're just gone. you all are.

people, practice what you preach. but i'm guilty of not doing that too.

i'm tired of people who put on a holy front. they suck more than i do.

my mental processes at a glance

sad. just read this.

According to Professor Marvic Leonen, Vice President for Legal Affairs of the UP System, the Administrative Order (AO) for Smoke Free UP was passed 2 days ago following unanimous vote. Students caught in violation of this order will be subjected to disciplinary action. Chancellors are given very stern instructions to implement the said AO.

oh my gulay. right when me and nina are applying cinematic geography subjective concepts from the lecture a while ago. nina said its two sticks from FC to SC. i say its a little over than a stick from FC to MassComm.

and in psych, we saw and touched and smelled (that's the bad part) a human brain. and i can't believe its THAT big. now when i say birdbrain, you better get really really insulted (not that you want to hear me say that anyways) cause i saw one for real and uhm, its bigger than i thought it would be. maybe sofia's is way way smaller than the average. boohoo.

and in psych also we discussed how Love is a chemical imbalance in the brain. talk about hitting the point. well, saying its a chemical imbalance has many implications. i agree with it but i don't like chemistry at all, so find something else with which to drive home the point. maybe geometry.

and i'm reading The Little Prince over and over and over again just like what i did with The Notebook. i suck, i haven't even read The Book twice.

"i shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. words are the sources of misunderstandings. but you will sit a little closer to me, every day..." - The Little Prince

yeah i know that and talking doesn't help too right? well i don't want to understand.

i'm not a fan of second chances either. never was.

here are TriNoma pics i took for our geog report. bakit kaya nag-iisa si miriam? ewan ko, ganyan din kaya ako? ayos lang, wala akong pakialam. ayoko na makialam. lagi naman akong mali di ba?

random thoughts

its too noisy in my head, and the only way to silence these thoughts or at least tame them down a bit is to imprison them with words. yep. masulat pa rin pala kong tao, hindi ko pa rin ipagpapalit ang papel at bolpen para sa mikropono ng radyo.

oh well, AHEM AHEM, i got a 97 in my psych midterms. *beaming* never mind my chem which i'm sure i won't get a 97 anyways. and just to remind you, i got a 97 in my psych paper too. yep, ang yabang ko na, a 97 with a "very good paper, can't fault it" remark on the last page.

btw, i've photocopied the psych paper in green already. that's for you. yes, you .

and yes, ain't it funny? how i always bump into you #2? wow. *ayla sings* everywhere i go, every smile i see, i know you are there, smiling back at me... lalaiforgotthelyricslala

and realizations:

it would be nice if i can be more positive, yep, cokes is uhm pointing that out by always asking me what i like about something right in the middle of my rants. phew. its so hard to find something positive to say when you're in the middle of your rants.

and why am i so keen on finding something that refuses to be found? *ayla sings again* find me a find, catch me a catch, groom me a groom... *stops singing* on keeping something that refuses to be kept? and repairing something that refuses to be repaired? okay, i'm getting redundant now. let's not overdo it.

but yeah, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger sabi nga ni pareng martin.

and louise texted me that she loves me more. PHEW. i hate that line. totally. i love you more? basura. not louise okay? i love louise too. its the line that's uhm basura. kasi when you love me more it means you can love me less, and wow, may rate, may equivalence, may standard. i love you louise.

2 RULES FOR AYLA BY COKES:
1. Gentleness
2. Be careful whom you talk to

tama ka diyan mareng cokes, kulang na kulang ako sa gentleness. at Rule No. 2. oh my.

gustong gusto ko rin pala ang The General ni Bamboo, lalong lalo na yung

Go now, you are forgiven.
Go now, you are forgiven.

paulit-ulit lang yun sa last part.



Go now Ayla, you are forgiven. GO!